It’s Not Us, It’s You.

THEY be going to the playoffs!

Over the last 10 years, being a Cincinnati Bengals fan hasn’t exactly been easy.  Since 2002, the Bengals have finished above .500 only three times.  All three of those records were good enough to send the Bengals to the playoffs, where they lost all three times in the AFC Wildcard game.  If you really want to paint a picture of the Bengals ineptitude, you’d have to go all the way back to 1990 to find the Cincinnati’s last playoff win.
In fact, since that playoff win, Bengals fans have suffered through 14 losing seasons, compared to only 3 winning seasons.  To go even deeper; since that playoff win in 1990, the Bengals have recorded 124 wins, 218 losses, and 1 tie.  OUCH!  Did we mention that being a Bengals fan has been painful? (As a Chiefs fan, I can sympathize.)
All of this losing was enough for one fan to throw in the towel.  Well, maybe just trade it in for a Terrible Towel instead. Last year,  EBay user emilybrett222 had had enough, and was going to do something about it.  That something was to sell his fan loyalty on Ebay.  Ridiculous, right?  Or maybe not.  It turns out that there was a market for fan loyalty (take note, Cubs fans) and fans of other teams were interested!  Eventually, the winning bid came in at $510.00.  The winning team, and emilybrett222’s new team, was the Pittsburgh Steelers. 
Which brings us to today.  The day after a game that saw the Cincinnati Bengals defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers.  But not just any victory; a Bengals that win that propelled them into the playoffs AND eliminated the Steelers from playoff contention.  Oh the irony. 
Hey, emilybrett222, maybe it’s you, not the Bengals.  After all, you are a pretty crappy fan. 
Below are screen grabs of the Ebay auction:

Free shipping, you say?  Classy move, emilybrett222.  The big story here though, is 8, I repeat 8! people made bids!

If you can overlook the grammatical errors, you can see that emilybrett222 put quite a lot of time and effort into this add.  Also included, a promise not to spend the bid money on anything other than team gear.

A package deal?!?! Now it all comes together.  Of course someone would bid on a package deal.  And what a great sales pitch, explaining exactly how he watches games.  So cool, dude.

Bills, Lions and Bengals not apply? Well played.  You know who should have bid?  Bills, Lions, and Bengals fans.  Exclusively.  Just so to keep the worst NFL fan in the world cheering for a losing team.